So, why do people cheat in marriage? Why do people cheat in relationships that look from all intent and purposes on the outside, to be perfect? Is it human nature? Well, if your marriage has a distinct lack of intimacy or may be a little boring then look out…you or your partner might be on the prowl looking to spice things up.
We get regular mail from people whose partners have cheated and one of the first questions they ask is why do people want to cheat? Well, we can never really directly answer them because we don’t know their situation and what their relationship is like but a report at responsesource.com as listed some revealing statistics as to why cheating occurs in marriages and the lack of intimacy and boredom reason is clearly on top of the list.
So if you look at your marriage and yourself and suddenly realize you haven’t been too intimate or even boring, then it might be time to worry a little.
Paul Graham, founder of Maritalaffair.co.uk takes his business and quotes “We all know affairs take place, but we want to understand whether some people are more at risk of having an affair than others, to cheat or to have an affair may be something that is in certain type of people, it may be genetic or it may be developed as a result of the environment we live in and the company we keep.”
The results of the survey shows that those looking for affairs are statistically most likely to be male, aged 46 to 50, living in the South East, educated to degree level, self-employed or with a job in computers or engineering, earning GBP 20,000 to GBP 30,000, married for up to seven years, with two children and looking for no-strings sex with lots of different people.
According to the survey, 73% of men and women said boredom and a lack of intimacy was their main motivation for cheating, while 8% said they chose to cheat for ‘the thrill’, 4% said it was because their partner was unable to have sexual relations due to illness, 3% wanted to experience sex with someone else, 2% cheated because their partner had cheated, while the remainder cheated out of ‘curiosity’ or because they had an open marriage.
Interestingly, 66% of men and 54% of women said they believed an affair could help save their marriage.
Paul Graham, founder of Maritalaffair.co.uk, said: “Most men we surveyed said they believed an affair could save their marriage. They’re looking for sexual satisfaction so if they get that outside of their marriage, they feel they are able to fulfill their other roles as a father, a husband, a breadwinner, etc.”
“Conversely, women who joined the site would normally be lonely and looking for companionship.”
The survey revealed of those actively looking for affairs, 33% live in the South East, 16% in the Midlands, 11% in the North West, 12% in the South West, 10% in the North East, 8% in Scotland, 4% in Wales, 3% in Ireland, and 3% elsewhere.
The professions with the most cheating partners were revealed as computing/engineering and self-employed, followed by executive/management roles, sales/marketing, and those who were retired.
Paul added: “It’s interesting to note that people who cheat are often self-employed or retired, situations where there’s more of an opportunity to actively search for people to engage in affairs with. We’ve also seen an increase in people signing up to the website during the recession – as the number of job cuts rises people are left with more time on their hands.”…..
Why do people cheat in marriage? Seems like it’s mainly due to intimacy and boredom issues. Do you think there has been a lack of intimacy in your marriage? Does this worry you? In other words, do you often think whether your partner may be looking to satisfy their sexual needs elsewhere? Have you confronted them about it?
Actually, confronting them about it just because you might be thinking it without proof is not really a smart move. It will only get them on the defensive. Seriously, it gets back to communication between two people and asking whether they think there is enough intimacy in the marriage. Is it boring? Then if you both agree yes come up with solutions together. In many cases this can temper the motivation for someone to cheat and can really reduce that statistic related to lack of intimacy and boredom.
But when it’s for the thrill or just to see what it’s like to have sex with someone else then you have a real problem that is going to need some confrontation and outside help. Do you have some feedback to share with us on this issue? Did you go through a cheating episode? How did you resolve it or did you? What was it caused by? Please share any tips you might have as it could help others. We appreciate it.