So, why do married couples fight over money? Why does money cause arguments in marriage? Well, I want to get one thing straight and that’s that money doesn’t cause problems; it’s the way it’s managed and handled that does and that is at the crux of why problems involving money causes issues in marriage.
But that’s probably something I didn’t really need to tell you as it’s a topic we’ve covered a lot.
But how about the question of why do couples argue over money? Well, a report at newsolio.com caught our attention recently when they gave us five reasons and then some excellent tips to create more financial stability and calmness in marriage when it comes to money.
For example, the reasons given were:
- finding it hard to let go of money independence when getting hitched
- different values and vies over money
- changing circumstances and events that occur within the marriage
- over use of credit cards
- following in the footsteps of the parents money spending habits
So then, what can married couples do to avoid arguments over money?
Money and marriage: Tips for combining incomes for financial stability
Divorce lawyers agree that the single greatest cause of divorce in the United States today is money. (Sexual problems, including adultery, take second place.)
Why do couples fight over money?
Independence is one reason. Many newlyweds exchange years of financial freedom that they worked hard to achieve for a lifetime of “oneness” that binds everything they own, including financial assets. For some people this can be a source of dismay as they realize the beloved partner is determined to hold the other person accountable for personal spending. No more frivolous flings, midnight sprees, weekend getaways. Now it’s saving for a home, planning for baby, and investing for retirement.
2. Differing values and views. One spouse might come from a home where frugality ruled. “Don’t throw away that crust of bread; don’t you know there are people starving in China who would love to have that?” Hoarding nickels and dimes for the slight pleasure of a Friday night pizza can be disheartening for the corporate executive who is accustomed to using a company charge account and personal charge card that he freely used at fine dining establishments…..
We have always loved the first solution and that is to let the better money manager in a marriage handle the transactions so to speak. The only problem with this though is agreeing to it and you’ll find that when couples finally get to this point, there have been some pretty hefty battles fought and in some instances, the marriage doesn’t survive.
If you are worried about this then seek some advice from a competent therapist and ask how to approach your spouse without them doing the “360 head spin”. The truth is, there will be some pain before the gain but in the end, it will be worth it if you catch the problem early enough.
How about you? Have you been in a situation when finances have affected your marriage? Did you resolve them? Can you share some tips with our readers?