So, what to do when your partner flirts? You know, this might be an amusing topic to many people but the simple fact is, when you are witnessing your spouse in a flirting session with someone else it can be down right embarrassing; not just for you, but for the people who know you and are watching it going on.
In fact, those who have been in this opposition say it’s like putting your marriage on public display and the feeling of embarrassment is sometimes overwhelming.
No, we are not going to make any flirting jokes in this post and will come out and say right now; if your spouse blatantly flirts with other people in front of you on a regular basis when you are in public then we think you might have reason for some concern.
Yes, many experts will say you need to act grown up and take it for what it is; a little harmless fun but is it? Is it harmless when it happens continuously? We don’t think so. Once in awhile and that’s fine, in fact, when my spouse flirts which is not very often, I almost see it as a compliment. But we are talking about the serial flirters in this post.
Like the guy who described his situation at posttrib.suntimes.com where he and his wife go each morning only to see her flirt with the same guy every day. Some may tell him to loosen up a little but I’d be pretty p*ssed if my wife spent the visit flirting with the same guy each day.
Your column is the first thing my wife reads every morning, so I figured I’d write. An issue has come up that I’d rather not discuss with anyone else.
My wife and I are both retired. We go to the same neighborhood coffee shop every morning. We’ve gotten to know the owners and the other folks who go there, including “Harry,” a regular. I think he has developed a crush on my wife. She thinks this is ridiculous.
When Harry comes in, he automatically sits with us, whether or not we invite him. And he always sits next to my wife. The first thing he does is give her a kiss on the cheek. Sometimes, he will put his arm around her shoulder. They occasionally carry on a conversation as if I’m not there. When it’s time to leave, he will give her a kiss on the cheek, along with a hug that I feel is more than friendly.
If my wife thinks Harry hasn’t been in yet, she will dawdle over her coffee and order an extra donut. Of course, when Harry’s wife is with him, they sit at the counter and his behavior is completely different. He gives us a brief “good morning.”
I have told my wife how much it annoys me when Harry hugs, kisses and puts his arm around her, and I’d like to respectfully ask him to stop. My wife doesn’t want me to say anything…..
Can flirting harm your relationship? Yes it can. What do you think Harry should do? The response was that Harry isn’t a threat to his marriage. We think Harry is a “right royal pain in the ass” who is “testing the waters”. Again, people will say “well why doesn’t he give his wife the same attention?” Good point but how about leaving her alone so he can?
Sorry, occasionally is fine in our books and as we said, it’s like a compliment that your spouse gets some attention. But daily? Pleeeaaaase; someone get that guy a “blow up dummy” to play with.
So, what to do when your partner flirts? Okay, we’re not sure there’s much you can do other than to let them know it makes you comfortable. A friend once had a couple of work colleagues mention to his wife that her flirting made them feel uncomfortable. That worked but not sure it was the right thing to do.
What are your thoughts? Do you think Harry should lay off a bit? What would you do if your wife or husband was being flirted with by the same person each day in full public view? Love to get your feedback.
Anyways, while on the subject of serial flirters, the following video was one that we got a giggle from (okay, we’ll loosen up and have a little bit of fun). It was posted at You Tube and is called “Coffee Shop Flirt”. I guess it is appropriate considering flirting mentioned above is taking place in a coffee shop.
So, did that scenario look familiar? The guy is married with kids but loves to flirt. Again, many might say it’s harmless but remember what we said above; many guys are just testing the waters and seeing what base they might get to. Would you agree or are we just being a little prudish?