When somebody asks “should I call off the wedding” then that’s pretty serious stuff don’t you think. Truth be known, a good percentage of couples who eventually walk down the aisle perhaps shouldn’t have been there in the first place. Divorce statistics where couples separate within a short time of the wedding day are a little frightening. Calling a wedding off is a call that maybe needs to be made a little more often?
A reader described a situation recently to us which made us cringe a little. She was asking “should I call the wedding off” and after analyzing her situation it was evident that her fiance wasn’t in it because he truly and solely loved her. We’ll explain what happened in a moment.
Iris Krasnow has posted an excellent article at huffingtonpost.com asking the question of when to call the wedding off. She describes a situation where a trip together before the wedding day was helpful as it identified that the person she was traveling with really wasn’t the man for her.
My parents told me that it was a mistake to go on a “pre-honeymoon” in 1987 with my fiancé, that it would douse the magic of our first trip together as husband and wife. Both in their mid-60s, my mom and dad would giggle like teenagers when they recalled their own honeymoon, driving in 1952 through the Smoky Mountains of Tennessee.
I didn’t listen and nor should you. I believed then, and I know for certain now, that traveling with someone you are engaged to be married to is a very wise move. You may find out, like I did, that there was very little magic in the relationship in the first place. Quickly you discover quirks and questionable behaviors that could save you from making one huge mistake.
Is he cool under the pressure of hectic crowds? Does he drag you to museums when you want to loll along a river? Are you hot for him? Is he flexible? Is he fun?
I knew at the airport before we boarded the Air France flight that Mr. Right was probably wrong for me. We arrived in separate cabs and he was wearing a navy blue blazer and a long-sleeved shirt. I was wearing a tank top and a blue jean skirt. Here I was going on my first trip to Paris and I was ecstatic about being surrounded by so many cool-looking people boarding our plane. He was snarly about the long check-in lines, and snippy with me…..
So, do you think a pre marriage trip is a good idea before the wedding day? Many people get to the stage of finally having their own wedding day that many times they’ll put their “heads in the sand” and not want anything to spoil that day; even if the person they are marrying is not right for them.
This was the case with a couple we knew who were just a month out of their wedding day. They went on a trip and as it turned out, she should have got the hint before they even boarded the plane. While walking to the ticket counter, he saw his ex wife walking towards them. Without missing a beat he grabbed his fiance’s hand and took the rings off her finger and then told her to act like they were just friends!
What would you have done if you were her? Most would have run off screaming. They went ahead and got married and were divorced a short time later. In answer to the question “should I call off the wedding” in that case; it’s a resounding yes. What would you have done?