Knowing how to resolve your marriage problems is what marriage counselors are trained to do and anyone who tells you they are a waste of money and time are kidding themselves. Sure, they won’t cure the ills of every marriage and the truth is, many people seek their help when it’s far too late to do anything and the only sensible solution is marriage break up. But when you are sensible enough to talk to a good marriage counselor early in the marriage problems then you give yourself every chance to get things back on track.
It was gratifying reading the following article at familycornerstones.com which looks at how to solve your biggest marriage problems. Again, communication is mentioned as the main issue, something which we’ve almost harped on as the biggest issue. But it’s almost scary reading the article from the point that they have got it so right when presenting the typical argumentative scenario a couple would go through. Just check to see if this might be you.
The Secret To Making Your Biggest Marriage Problems Worse!
Well, it’s really no secret. It’s easy to make your problems worse…just clam up and don’t communicate (or worse yet, communicate in a hostile way).
Here’s what usually happens. (Note: the “you” in this example can be you, your spouse or both):
You are doing your best to get your point across and you think you’re doing a pretty good job. However, you are not listening to yourself. The tone of your voice and the way you look and move is demonstrating that you are angry with your spouse. Your spouse responds negatively.
So you get more upset. You accuse and criticize your spouse instead of explaining your concern in a calm and loving manner.
You are carrying on a conversation…but it is a one-way conversation. You talk and your spouse listens…and what you say hurts. Your spouse responds negatively.
You and/or your spouse get defensive. Once this happens everything goes to pot. If your spouse is getting defensive, perhaps you’re getting too offensive.
You can cause your spouse to clam up. If your spouse doesn’t want to talk, examine yourself to see if you come across harshly or offensively. You may be the cause.
If this describes you, your spouse, or both of you, do your best to correct the above and watch how things change…..
Did you recognize yourself or your spouse in the article? You know, being able to do that and pin point that it’s not just your spouse whose the problem, but you too will go a long way to finding some harmony again in your marriage.
I was there big time. That’s why reading the example exchange between spouses in the article really hit home. Sometimes we can get lost in our own importance and self worth we forget that marriage is truly a partnership. It’s not an individual game. I wasn’t smart enough to recognize that the first time round. Second time around, it’s been wonderful and a breeze.
Do you really want to know how to solve your marriage problems? Get the communication issues solved and you will be on track to living a better than happy marriage.