So, what are the secrets to a long marriage? Now when seeking marriage survival tips you need to understand that there are no real secrets to a long marriage but there are secrets to a long and happy marriage. Big difference. Many couples live a unhappy existence together and while they may be married for a long time, are they really happy?
Well, we found two articles for today’s posts that we think have the secrets to a happy and long marriage? What are they? Well, in a nutshell, the ability to be able to continue to do stuff on your own while married. But all within reason though.
The first article is at islandpacket.com about a grand couple who have recently celebrated their 70th wedding anniversary. Reading the article, one of the lines jumped out at me right away…”they found togetherness, but still kept separate activities…” To quote the the legendary “The Fonz”; Heeeeyyyy!
The old saying “The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach” rings true for Susanna and Walter Glaze who have been married for more than 70 years.
“Collard greens,” Walter said when asked what special thing his wife cooks for him.
Turns out Walter cooks for her as well.
“I try to do things to please him and if I’m not feeling good, he’ll cook for me and bring food to me,” Susanna said. “And I’ve done the same for him.”
It is the simple things in life that they credit for their longevity.
“Being together that long in marriage speaks for itself,” Walter said. “We’ve had our days, but we were able to put them together and keep going.”
Susanna, 88, and Walter, 92, celebrated their 70th anniversary on July 20, 2011. They say there are no secrets to their long marriage or resolving problems.
“We try to work together,” Susanna said. “Just try and it will work itself out.”…..
The Secret To A Happy Marriage
The second article is at yourtango.com and it deals with the secret to a happy marriage. It talks about couples taking separate vacations and the key is distance. Okay, makes sense and kind of ties in with the first article to some extent.They cite examples and reasoned that couples who took the occasional excursion away from each other meant marrriages were usually stronger.
Married for 23 years, journalist Iris Krasnow has a personal antidote to the long-term marital rut that creeps into relationships over time: separate summer vacations. Shine: Are You Stuck In A Semi-Happy Marriage?
Once a year for about a decade, she’s spent a portion of her summer away from her husband. When her four sons were young, she’d work as a counselor at their camp in the Adirondacks while her husband, an architect and furniture maker, focused on his own projects back at their Annapolis, Maryland home. “I love nature so I just thrived up there and he’d get so much work done back home,” says Krasnow, an assistant professor in the School of Communication at American University.
After seven weeks away (with a visit in between) their marriage was usually stronger than ever. “When I’d come home, the grind of an ordinary marriage seemed extraordinary,” she says…..
So, secrets to a long marriage revolve around the fact that couples should still be able to enjoy their favorite activities and spend occasional time away from each other. Yes, we agree but while it makes sense, I know of two cases where it did not work and ended in separation. Mine was one and the other was my best friend.
But, I will say that for something like this to work, then it is going to need the co-operation and understanding of both partners. In our case I was willing and my partner was very much against it. I still went ahead and did my thing. I guess I may have been reckless but what would have happened if I had conceded and then became miserable because I couldn’t enjoy what I liked to enjoy? Me thinks that separation would have been inevitable anyway. What do you think?
We’d love to get some feedback from you on this. Is what has been discussed in this article worked for you or not? Do you think keeping separate activities and separate vacations is the key to a successful marriage?