So, how does marriage breakdown affect kids? From what we’ve been reading around the web lately marriage splits affect kids in a big way. The issue of marriage breakdown and kids is always brought to light when celebrities with children decide to go their separate ways. This in a way is a good thing, not because the celebs split but the fact that they have kids is brought to the attention of parents who may been thinking divorce rather than trying to save their marriage.
If divorce looks the only option then the parents need to put their resentments aside and make sure their children don’t suffer from the stress of watching mom and dad fight. Here’s what they are saying at petaluma.patch.com.
One can hardly turn on the TV today without hearing something about the latest celebrity couple that has called it quits on their marriage. The latest gossip seems to involve the Smiths–Will & Jada, that is. And while the couple vehemently denies the rumors, statistics regarding divorce in America truly are grim with nearly 50 percent of all marriages in the United States ending in divorce.
When there are children involved, couples facing divorce find themselves with even bigger challenges than just going their separate ways. The challenges of parenting apart can often be daunting for both parents and their children, but especially if parents aren’t on the same page.
“Based on my experience along with the vast body of research, the greatest predictors of success (measured as healthy adjustment of the children) is if the parents are willing and committed to co-parent in the best interest of the children at all times” said Laura Kellison, a local psychologist who has helped families dealing with separation or divorce for over 17 years.
“To ease this transition for children, the main tenets of successful co-parenting are consistency, minimizing conflict and showing respect” Kellison said. “They (the children) did not sign up for this, so it’s the parents’ job to do their very best. Even if they don’t feel like it, it is time to put aside bad feelings for the kids sake”…..
One of the problems we have with people deciding to go down the divorce route is that it’s just too easy to make the decision to dissolve a relationship without much consideration given to the kids. The question always needs to be asked what did you do to try and resolve your differences? Did you make an effort?
Yes, there is plenty of debate on this and many in our opinion, jump to the defense of the parents too quickly saying stuff like there’s no point in prolonging a marriage just for appearances and the kids sake and to a degree, this maybe right but what we’re saying is, show us the proof that you at least actually made an effort to save your marriage i.e. …visited a marriage counselor.
This is a touchy subject we know and what that could be debated ad infinitum. We’d love to get your perspective to our question of how does marriage breakdown affect kids? Share your feedback with us. We always appreciate it.