So, can you recover from cheating? This is one of the most trying times a marriage can face and recovering from cheating is a huge mountain for a couple to climb. And make no mistake, unless two people agree to work through this together then it’s impossible to recover from a cheating episode.
One man is trying to save a marriage he cherishes despite his wife cheating on him. He relates his story at hitchedmag.com and his situation is one we hear about often. The person who cheats following a fallout between two people is not an uncommon reaction and many times, the person who has cheated wants desperately back into the marriage. Most times they are accepted back in and things are rosy for a while. But then it starts to fall apart again. Here’s the response he received from relationships expert Karen Sherman.
My wife and I have been together for eight years. Last year we had a falling out and she cheated on me with another man. She wound up pregnant and begged for me to come back. I love her so much, so I did. Her attitude was the best I’ve seen in years towards me, but recently she’s gone back to treating me like garbage. I am a very affectionate man, and when I touch her she pushes me away. She won’t tell me how she feels about me. Any suggestions would be very helpful. If it doesn’t stop soon, the inevitable will happen. Please help!
Most people think that being in love is the most important element to making a relationship work. The truth is, it just isn’t! In order to have a long-term satisfying marriage, the two key elements that are necessary are trust and respect.
Clearly, when one spouse has had an affair, the foundation of the relationship has been broken. You demonstrated quite a strength of character by forgiving her because you loved her so much, and it seems she was most appreciative of that gesture since her immediate response was so positive toward you.
There are so many reasons that affairs take place; and I want you to know that as painful as they are, couples can heal from them. Often, their marriages are stronger after work is done to repair the partnership…..
Knowing how to recover from cheating requires a joint effort and plenty of communication. Many times things will seem fine for awhile and then suddenly, there seems to be what we like to call “get back together remorse.” Yes, I’m speaking from experience and it’s an unusual feeling. Breaking down that barrier is very difficult because the partner who has been so affectionate and loving for sometime suddenly becomes distant.
The truth is, this barrier is caused by both people. Cheating in marriage breaks trust and when that trust is broken, it’s an uphill battle to regain it. I doubt it’s ever regained and will go as far as to say you are kidding yourself if you think it can come back to the level it was before the cheating happened. Harsh I know but sometimes you’ve got to hear it like it really is.
Have you been cheated on? How did you react? Did you spouse want to come back and did you take them back? How was the relationship after you got back together? Did your level of trust drop dramatically? Please share your feedback with us as we always appreciate it.