Wow, when we saw this question we thought “with an attitude like that then you deserve lasting happiness in marriage”. In fact, we wish more people would ask “how to make my marriage last forever”.
So how do you make your marriage last forever? The truth is, while it takes work, it’s not all that difficult. Making a marriage work is all about remembering you are a team, not individuals. Yes, some may say that “well, we are individuals and we’ve been together a long time”. Yes, but are you happy?
Staying together with one person in a lifetime of marriage and being happy at the same time is different than simply staying together. Many people will stay together for a reason; such as not to disrupt the lives of their kids or not to embarrass family.
An article at huffingtonpost.com listed the nine rules for a lasting marriage and there are some gems in there. Yes, we consider communication as the biggest factor in a happy marriage but the author has listed some tips that many take for granted. Here’s a short summary:
- recommitting to each other and the marriage every single day
- show appreciation for your spouse consistently
- avoid letting resentment build without addressing the issues
- stop trying to fix your spouse
- continue dating your spouse
As a newlywed, it’s hard to imagine that your marriage could ever end as another statistic fueling our country’s high divorce rate.
After all, when you first met “The One,” you were head-over-heels-giddy-in-love (I know I was), and that magical feeling lasts for a while. But eventually, real life starts happening. You get really busy with your career, kids, a parent’s illness, and all the activity and stress that come with raising a family. Before you know it, your marriage gets pushed to the back burner.
However, when you let your relationship with your spouse “sit” for too long, it deteriorates (much like a car or home that’s not maintained).
Eventually you wake up one day and realize that you no longer have anything in common with the person you once promised to love, cherish, and honor forever.
In my opinion, this pattern is a real shame. I don’t believe that so many promising partnerships have to end in frustration, grief, or even animosity. And I think that what makes all the difference in a marriage is how you choose to prioritize it…..
We mentioned how important communication is in a marriage and it actually forms the foundation for many of the other points listed in the article.
We also like the dating tip a lot. This is something you could set up once a week where you go on a date. It doesn’t have to be an expensive restaurant but simply an outing to a park, a picnic, a walk; a time you two make to spend time together especially if you lead busy working lives.
Not addressing resentment and letting it build is dangerous in any relationship. It needs to be addressed quickly. As does showing appreciation for your spouse consistently.
Look, knowing how to make a marriage last forever gets down to doing the “one per centers”. Do them consistently and you are going to be on a winner. The last line of the article summed it up beautifully…”Don’t underestimate the importance of celebrating, respecting, loving, and prioritizing your spouse each and every day”.
Says it all, don’t you think?